Couples and Marital Counseling with Dr. Kovner is based on 30 years of research on what happily married couples do right. Couples come to counseling in the “attack-defend” mode and cannot manage their negativity. They fight over differences that may have once attracted them to each other. We find that opposites do attract. It is likely that nature has the plan of diversifying the gene pool in order to increase survival of the human race as a species. However, once children are born, nature is no longer drawing the couple together. Now, their very traits that once attracted them, tend to repel them. The tension between them comes out when they try to solve problems together. Their different problem-solving styles cause stress. This is when the negativity between them is extreme. The negativity comes out in the form of criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt (The Four Horsemen).
Over time, distressed couples find that all of their interaction is conflicted. They argue over everything, the minors and the majors. They often don’t know why they are fighting or what provoked them. They just feel negative.
Learning to manage that negativity is the first stage of therapy. In Couples and Marital Counseling, clients learn how to make repairs, collaborate and listen, then melt away their defensiveness. Once they have learned to manage negativity, they can start back on the track of problem-solving and building back their friendship and intimacy.
The length of Marital Counseling varies from client to client and can take as long 18 months for couples to learn to consistently manage negativity without assistance. The process is most effective when couples spend their time between sessions doing homework assignments and exercises. It is not uncommon for couples to become disrupted by busy schedules, baby sitting arrangements and work. As a result, their progress may become slow. A solution is to attend a marital education class. Dr. Kovner offers marital education classes one Saturday every month. The program, entitled, Marital University is a one day class for up to three couples and is held at Dr. Kovner’s office in Norcross. Read More
If couples cannot come for weekly Marital & Couples Counseling sessions due to a busy schedule, then consider our Couples Therapy Retreat. Dr. Kovner has designed a two-day intensive therapy program for couples that are in distress. Read More
Call now for an appointment for an initial interview at (770) 729-0123.